


He Lit a Fire (and Now He's in My Every Thought)

by EachPeachPearPlum



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (it was only a tiny fire okay just cut him some slack), Accidental Arsonism, Bad Cooking, Domestic Fluff, Fire, Fluff, Humor, M/M, POV Outsider, Post-Avengers (2012), Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), they all live happily in the tower except with Bucky and Sam because that's the way things should be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:02:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22743715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EachPeachPearPlum/pseuds/EachPeachPearPlum
Summary: It probably says a lot about his friendship with Natasha that the first words out of her mouth are, “What did you do this time?”"Nothing!” Clint argues. Tasha arches an eyebrow at him, sceptical in the extreme, which Clint is so not having. “Swear to god, I was playing that Lego game they made about us, no way I could have caused a fire.”“Uhuh,” Tasha ‘agrees’, then goes for their usual means of resolving arguments that take place in the tower. “JARVIS?”“On this occasion, Agent Barton is quite correct, Agent Romanov,” their resident ceiling-deity answers. “The fire began in Sir and Captain Rogers’ kitchen.”
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 2
Kudos: 75
Collections: 2020 Captain America/Iron Man Relay Remix





	He Lit a Fire (and Now He's in My Every Thought)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Dinner Plans (Food is Love Remix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22792303) by [Neverever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neverever/pseuds/Neverever). 



> Thank you, mods! I've really enjoyed the opportunity to create remixes for this event.
> 
> To the original creator, I enjoyed working with your fic, and I hope you enjoyed my remix.
> 
> Title is a slight bastardisation of the lyrics to Lord Huron's _She Lit a Fire_ , for little reason other than that it's pretty and there is fire.

Clint waits three seconds for the alarm to stop wailing before standing up, because half the time what he assumes is an emergency actually turns out to be a drill (or JARVIS fucking with them, he’s not one hundred percent sure), and there’s no way he’s walking all the way downstairs again if the building isn’t actually burning.

The alarm doesn’t shut up, though, so Clint heads for the hall and starts the long, long walk down the stairs, joined by Tasha three floors down.

It probably says a lot about their friendship that the first words out of her mouth are, “What did you do this time?”

“Nothing!” Clint argues. Tasha arches an eyebrow at him, sceptical in the extreme, which Clint is so not having. “Swear to god, I was playing that Lego game they made about us, no way I could have caused a fire.”

“Uhuh,” Tasha ‘agrees’, then goes for their usual means of resolving arguments that take place in the tower. “JARVIS?”

“On this occasion, Agent Barton is quite correct, Agent Romanov,” their resident ceiling-deity answers. “The fire began in Sir and Captain Rogers’ kitchen.”

“Told you so,” Clint mutters, quiet enough that Tasha doesn’t feel the need to smack him across the back of his head for it. He continues his gloating internally, though, because either Steve ‘You’re-Not-Children-We-Should-Be-Able-To-Leave-You-Unsupervised-Without-Some-Kind-Of-Disaster-Happening’ Rogers or Tony ‘I’m-So-Smart-You-Can’t-Even-Understand-How-Much-Smarter-Than-You-I-Am’ Stark has set their own kitchen on fire, and it’s basically a human right for Clint to be smug about that.

Unfortunately for his ego, they catch up with Bruce a few flights further down, who makes the same very incorrect assumption about Clint’s involvement in the fire. As does Sam, who catches up with them in turn not long after.

They've reached the third floor before Thor also joins them; despite the fact that he’s quicker than the rest of them, the Asgardian has a tendency to forget that he’s supposed to do something when alarms sound. Thor, at least, makes for a welcome change, since he begins the conversation with, “I bear no responsibility on this occasion!”

“Me neither,” Clint exclaims, raising his hand for a high five, and then they’re all out the door at the bottom of the stairs in time to see the last few Stark employees exiting the building and Tony and Steve canoodling in the middle of the goddamn atrium.

Given that they’re still inside, Clint decides there’s no reason for him to head all the way out into the rain, instead crossing his arms and glaring until the fire-causing bastards stop smooching and acknowledge the team’s existence.

It takes until Tasha clears her throat for their esteemed leaders to turn around. Steve looks vaguely apologetic (but then it's common knowledge that by the time Natasha has resorted to throat-clearing the only sensible response is to try to make amends), while Tony just looks kind of proud.

“Alright, what happened, and which one of you dumbasses did it?” Sam asks; the amount of time he spends being the team’s designated responsible adult, it's pretty much a miracle the guy doesn't just have that on a recording ready to go at any moment.

“Steve forgot our anniversary!” Tony announces.

“In my defence, I've been doing PR work all day,” Steve answers. “You should be pleased I'm still with it enough to remember that we’re married.”

Tony's answering smile is positively gooey, like Steve has somehow said something particularly sweet, rather than just employing his usual self-deprecating humour. Clint doesn't get it, but before he can wonder too much Sam says, “I’ll agree, Steve forgetting your anniversary might be a problem, but I was actually asking about the fire?”

Steve and Tony look at one another for a moment, then Tony grins. “Oh, that,” he says, waving his hands dismissively. “Oven malfunction. Could have happened to anyone.”

“Uhuh,” Sam says, sounding pretty damn dubious about that statement; given the chewing out Clint got the last time _he_ started a fire, he's very much in agreement with Sam, but Steve is also doing the soppy-eyed thing, and Clint very much doesn't want to watch them moon at each other.

“Are the fire department coming, or are we allowed back upstairs yet?”

“Dunno,” Tony answers vaguely. “Jay?”

“Fire suppression methods do seem to have been successful, Sir,” JARVIS answers. “Elevators will be coming back online shortly.”

“There,” Tony answers. “Happy now?”

“Thank you, JARVIS,” Steve adds, offering the ceiling a brief nod of gratitude before resuming mooning.

“Jesus Christ,” Clint mutters under his breath.

It's at that point that Natasha seems to grow tired of the two of them, very pointedly turning her back and heading over to wait by the private elevator. The rest of them follow her, and it's only when they're out of earshot (of Tony, even if Steve can maybe still hear them) that Sam says, “Cut them some slack, guys. It’s their anniversary.”

 _Oops_. Apparently Clint’s muttering wasn’t quite as under his breath as he thought it was.

“They do do this a lot, though,” Bruce says, taking his turn as the voice of reason, though he is at least being reasonable on the right side of things. “The last time I went to find Tony in his workshop…” He trails off, shuddering only slightly theatrically, and Clint is familiar enough with Steve and Tony’s relationship to be grateful Bruce’s sentence ended there.

“But is not the expression of their love a beautiful thing?”

“I think it’s more the locations they choose to express their love that bothers people, Thor,” Natasha explains, way more gentle with him than when she explains things to Clint (apparently, being an alien or a temporally displaced supersoldier gets you extra special gentleness from Tasha, which is about a thousand miles from fair given that Clint is the reason SHIELD didn’t kill her way back when). “Plus, there’s the whole issue where they keep breaking the _pants in communal areas_ rule. You know we like it when people follow that one.”

Despite the fact that it’s been months since the last time Thor wandered around the Tower in the buff, he still looks abashed at Tasha’s words (now, if he was in Thor’s shoes – or, well, pants – Clint would have settled on smug, but clearly Thor is the bigger man, pun entirely intended).

The elevator arrives before Thor can apologise, and Clint steps inside, breathing a sigh of relief that in a few minutes he’ll get to escape from Tony and Steve being extra soppy today.

Or not, since they pile in with the rest of the team and then, when the elevator stops on the team floor, follow them out.

“You’re stopping here?” Clint asks, trying very hard not to sound perturbed by the possibility.

“Um, pizza?” Tony says, as though that’s a valid answer to Clint’s question (well, it’s usually a valid answer to most questions, but in this case Clint isn’t entirely sure it actually explains anything). “If I’m buying, I get to eat it.”

“You’re buying pizza?” Bruce asks, apparently equally behind on the conversation.

“He burnt the kitchen down,” Steve points out. “If we want to eat tonight, it’s going to be take out.”

“And I was maybe the only person present when a very small part of the kitchen caught fire,” Tony amends. “Still not sure that it was my fault. Anyway, pizza?”

X

It’s late, almost so late that it’s early again, and Clint thought their beloved leaders headed to bed a while back. He’s therefore sort of surprised when he heads into the kitchen to get another beer each for himself, Sam and Natasha and hears Tony and Steve murmuring in the hallway that leads to the elevators.

“Sorry I set fire to the kitchen,” Tony’s saying, which, hey, an admission of both responsibility and guilt? Pretty big deal, coming from him. “Fucking stupid mistake. Wouldn’t have happened if I’d just been more careful.”

“Accidents happen, Tony,” Steve answers. “Like you said, we’ll assess the damage tomorrow, then make a start on the repairs. You never know, it might be fun to redesign it together.”

 _Or it might end with the two of you at each other’s throats again_ , Clint thinks, opening the fridge as quietly as he can; they might have been together for what seems like a lifetime at this point, but that doesn’t mean they don’t occasionally have very loud differences of opinion.

“Yeah, maybe,” Tony agrees, followed by the soft, wet, uncomfortable-to-overhear sound of them snogging yet again. On the plus side, their preoccupation does give Clint the opportunity to extract the beers without there being much chance of them realising he’s within hearing range of their conversation, so he best get to that before they eventually peel themselves apart.

He’s closed the fridge and is sneaking back out of the kitchen when the kissing sounds end and Tony says, “You didn’t tell them you weren’t the only one who forgot our anniversary.”

Clint pauses, curiosity piqued, and waits for Steve to answer.

“If you hadn’t burned dow- sorry, _been the only person present when a very small part of the kitchen caught fire_ , I would have done, but I figured you’d be getting enough shit for that,” Steve answers, which, awww.

Apparently, Tony thinks so too, because the kissing noises make a comeback.

Clint decides he’s going to hit up the bar in the living room. Beer just isn’t going to cut it tonight.


End file.
